Worst Jaws sequel ever!

Posted: 2020/07/13 in Uncategorized

Sharks are having a feeding frenzy killing swimmers at a Florida beach.
Authorities order everybody to stay out of the water.
Shark deaths drop to zero.
The governor concludes that shark deaths are over.
“OK everybody – you can go back into the water!”
Spoiler alert: some of the people understand cause and effect and stay out of the water.
They’re left to bury the remains that wash ashore.
The governor announces that he will not order people to stay out of the water – “the voluntary system is working.”
The end.
Or is it?
Great white zombies, anyone?

Trump must be injecting himself with Lysol because he Lysol the time!

I just gained an additional hour of productive time each week! I turned off the TV show “Bull” on CBS. And, although I hadn’t missed an episode up to this point,  I won’t be turning it back on.

In the first 15 minutes of the show, entitled “The Sovereigns,” both a federal judge and a state judge (who’s actually the defendant in this week’s case) committed the unforgiveable faux pas of pronouncing the term “PERemptory challenge” as “PREemptory challenge.”

It’s bad enough that some tin-eared ignoramus may have written it that way in the script, but for NOT ONE person in the cast or among the many producers, directors and consultants to correct such egregious buffoonery before it could make its way onto tape is utterly inexcusable. If that’s not contempt of court I don’t know what is.

It’s just a laughably inept error to anyone who’s ever been professionally involved in jury trials. Case closed. It’s like a neurosurgeon calling the cerebrum the cherubim.

What’s next? Judge Pigmeat Markham presiding?

I think I ate a cat treat. It could have been a pistachio. That’s what I had been eating. One fell out of the bag onto my clothes, so I picked it up and ate it.

Then I put some cat treats in a roly-poly cat toy that the cat bats to make a treat fall out. A treat fell out onto the chair, so I picked it up and put it into the toy.

Then when I closed the bags of treats and pistachios and started to get up, I noticed there was another “pistachio” on the chair next to my leg. It was the same size and shape as a pistachio, so I picked it up and ate it.

But, you know, it tasted kinda “off.” And it hadn’t felt quite right for a pistachio, either in my fingers or in my mouth. so I ate a couple more pistachios to see if they tasted like that.

I think I ate a cat treat.

The question the Democrats ought to be asking Southern women is, “Trump’s a cheater, a liar, an abuser, a bully, and a phony — how many men like that have you divorced?”

Super Tuesday night in California Joe Biden took a victory lap.

He quoted Robert Browning, “..a man’s reach should exceed his grasp…”

And then his train of thought jumped the track.

He boomed, “We can grasp whatever we can reach!”

Yeeeaaahhhh . . . Really poor choice of words there, Joe. Way too much reachin’ and graspin’ already. Stop reminding us.

Only it’s not funny. It comes down to the meltdown we’ve seen twice before: either
(a) she was unable to surround herself with a team of competent advisors and managers, or
(b) she did surround herself with a team of competent advisors and managers and she just didn’t listen to them.

Either one is disqualifying.

Where did it all go so wrong?

Medicare-free-for-all. She should have differentiated her health care plan from Bernie’s, which she never did (same plan, but with footnotes). And she should have gone on the offensive with those who said people can keep their current plans if they want: “They can promise that, but they can’t guarantee it. Let’s be real: What if half the people on a private plan decide they like the public option better? Can the private plan survive? Probably not.”

Image. She just didn’t exude presidential-ness. Didn’t anybody tell her, “Dress for the job you want, not the job you have?” She always looks like the junior girls’ P.E. teacher who just rushed onto the stage at the last minute because the dodgeball tournament ran overtime. Male or female candidate for higher office, a stylist is not a frivolous expenditure. If Nixon had had one in 1968, JFK might have lived to a ripe old age.

On the plus side, she did the party a great service by pulling the plug on Michael Bloomberg’s self-driving hovercraft. Pfffffttt.

Is it too late to salvage her campaign? Maybe be the compromise nominee if no one has the magic 1991? Maybe toss her delegates to the one she wants to crown? It’s still kinda early. Maybe.

From the opening bell, the 2020 presidential prize fight was billed as Trump versus Biden (“My grandpa can lick your grandpa!”). Then Biden flagged and Bloomberg tagged himself (“My oligarch can lick your oligarch!”). But can he?

Yow

According to Forbes, Michael Bloomberg is among the 12 wealthiest people in the entire world. He owns 80% of Bloomberg LP, which reportedly earned $10 billion in 2018. Since that’s not his only company nor source of income, it’s not unreasonable to guesstimate that he has an annual income of $10 billion himself. That gives a nice round number to work with.

And let’s round off the number of work hours in a year to 2,000 (40 hours per week times 50 weeks). And just to keep the math simple, let’s peg your income, you hypothetical middle-class individual, at $50,000 a year. Ergo,

Bloomberg
Annual gross income $ 10,000,000,000
Hourly gross income $           5,000,000

Middle-class wage earner
Annual gross income $               50,000
Hourly gross income $                       25

Comparison

Thus his annual income is not 200, not 2,000, but TWO. HUNDRED. THOUSAND. times as much as yours!

In one hour he makes 100 times more than you do in an entire yearConversely, it would take you 100 years to earn as much as he makes in one hour!

And he’s been making money at or near that level for 30 years or more. Putting that  in perspective, to catch up with him, you’d have to earn your middle-class income every year since long, long before the pyramids were built, over 4 thousand years ago!

That really puts the gross in gross income, doesn’t it?

Though its an extreme case, that’s the kind of staggering, breathtaking income inequality we have in America today.

How

Let’s remind ourselves how Bloomberg acquired such stratospheric wealth.

He developed a beyond-the-state-of-the-art computer system in the 1980s. But what did it do?

  • Did it help doctors treat the sick and dying?
  • Did it help teachers better educate their students in reading, writing, math and science?
  • Did it improve the standard of living of all humankind?
  • Did it do anything to make the world a better place?

No, none of the above. Not even close.

The invention he makes most of his billions from does one thing: it empowers the wolves and the Gekkos and the other predators on Wall Street to concentrate ever more of the world’s economies into fewer and fewer hands. It’s a specialized computer terminal and software system tied into a private network geared exclusively toward the most elite financial analysts in the banking and investment world, people who don’t actually make  anything. They simply move money around, and his system allows its users to get data and respond to it a few seconds faster than the people who don’t use his system, and that’s what matters in the billionaire boys’ clubs where they carry out their financial debauchery.

It became the  indispensable tool to the people who aspire and conspire to turn a lot of money into a lot more money. (They’re also the same people, using the same tool, who turned a lot of money into a lot of nothing in the Great Recession of a dozen years ago.)

(BTW, his company continues to “improve” its product and expand its market share.)

To create such a system he had to not just grasp the technological possibilities emerging in the computer industry, he had to understand the work of the money changers in the financial temples of the world better than they understood it themselves. He became their master enabler.

Along the way, he also launched a subscription media empire targeting those same people and their minions and wannabes.

And in the process he arguably had the most impact of any single person in growing the ever-widening gap between the haves and the have-nots, where the already scandalously rich extend their riches to and beyond any imaginable level of Trumpian extravagance.

And now

So, is Bloomberg some kind of once- and maybe still-evil sorcerer seeking to buy his way into redemption (without actually admitting any past transgressions)? Or is he just an innocent bystander who got rich in the economics arms race by selling some mercenaries automatic weapons to replace their muzzle loaders?

Can his contributions to The Good Cause really undo so much of the unprecedented inequality he’s complicit in?

If Bloomberg wanted to atone for the immense damage he’s helped to inflict, he would never have even dabbled in the Democratic presidential primaries. After all, the elephant in the room (metaphor intended) at every Democratic debate so far has been the fact that it matters little which of the candidates should be chosen as president if the Senate remains in Republican stranglehold.

Bloomberg’s billions would undoubtedly do the most good if directed strategically at winning the most critical House and (especially) Senate seats and funding a rapid response team to Republican lies and disinformation, not on his own self-congratulatory ego trip.

Wow

So is this the guy who deserves to be the standard bearer of the party of working-class Americans?  (Don’t the numbers say he works 200,000 times as hard as the rest of us?)

The other Democratic candidates ought to be constantly reminding voters that the super-rich made that kind of obscene wealth because of the America we all, every working person in America, for the past 400 years, built.

Without the roads and the farms and the schools and the factories, without the wars fought and won by Americans from all  backgrounds, none of that outrageous affluence would even be possible. For anyone.

Which candidate is most likely to take on Wall Street and unstack the deck that keeps making the super-rich richer and everyone else poorer? Someone who actually fought Wall Street and won, or someone who profited astronomically by making Wall Street more  Wall Street than it ever was before?

Gordon Sondland corrected his questioners a few times today – other times he didn’t – when they spoke of Trump wanting investigations [of Burisma/Biden/Crowdstrike]. He wanted people to understand that the requirement for the release of aid and the Oval Office meeting was for an announcement of investigations.

Why is that distinction important? Because that’s all Trump wanted: a big fat lie, on video, from Ukraine’s shiny new anti-corruption, reformist president. A video Trump could play over and over. To smear Joe Biden. To exonerate Vladimir Putin. To find out that Zelensky was a pushover in case Trump ever needed to use him again.

Oh, hell no! Trump didn’t want a real investigation! What if there really was an investigation and Zelensky had to announce it didn’t find anything? That would be kinda messy to explain…

But an announcement of an investigation that never takes place means Trump can keep proclaiming, “The investigation is a huge success but it’s still ongoing, so nothing specific can be disclosed yet.” That’s Trump gold!

Even if it’s fake gold. Fool’s gold. Hey, whatever it takes!

Even if you have to bribe another country’s president with military aid passed in good faith by both houses and both parties in Congress. Even if that country’s in the middle of a border war. Even if that border war is with… Well, you get the idea.

 

MAGA Hatter, let’s suppose your wife and kids want you dead.  Yeah, I know, how could anybody even think such a thing! But maybe they’re secretly brainwashed Democrats. The wife tells the kids, “I know someone who’ll do the deed. I want you to go to him and make the deal.”

They do, and to close the deal, she calls the hit man and asks the pre-arranged question, “You’re going to do me that favor, right?” And the hit man gives the pre-arranged answer, “I’ll see what I can do.”

But some people overheard the kids negotiating with the hit man on her behalf and went to the police, who then tapped your wife’s phone.

So now the wife and kids are on trial. The witnesses all tell the same story. The prosecutor plays the phone call. The hit man says sure he was on the phone call, but he understood it to be about something else.

And the best defense the wife’s lawyer can come up with is, “She didn’t say anything about a murder contract in the phone call – it was perfectly innocent. And besides, even if she did plan to pay him to kill the old boy, he’s still alive, therefore no crime was ever actually committed. This trial is a sham! The real criminals are the 10 people who made up this story and the cops who investigated it.”

Well, Mr. Hatter, you’d better hope those jurors aren’t your peers (i.e., as dumb as you are), or your wife and kids are gonna be back home in your big white house tomorrow and for years to come.